After what seemed like the longest day of my life, came the actual longest day of my life. The following day was a Monday and I had work at 9am. My alarm was set for 7:30 but I was woken up at 7am by Ty. In reality though, I had barely slept and was already half awake. I had wanted to get up and go to the bathroom about an hour prior, but I was so sore that I could barely get up, so I just laid there. I had been thinking a lot while slipping in and out of consciousness, which always make me anxious.
Tyler had just gotten out of work. He told me that he was coming up to see me and that we were going to go to the hospital. Honestly, at this point I knew that I had to go. I had been fucked by two strangers and had no memory of it, I was covered in cuts and bruises, I had a couple of threatening voicemails from one of the fuckers, and the last thing I could remember was one of the guys buying me a drink from their buddy, the bartender. In addition I had no clue about the protection level of the sex, so inoculations were in order. Despite all of this, I refused to go to the hospital. I didn't want to miss work, and I didn't want to make a big deal about something that I didn't remember and felt really embarrassed about. Tyler threatened to come drag me out of work if I didn't call in, so I really had no choice. I called my secretary and explained that I had a family emergency and would not be in work that day.
Tyler arrived and it took me nearly five minutes to get up and unlock the door for him. My muscles ached and more bruises had surfaced. Some on my knees and others on my hips. The ones I had noticed the night before had become more pronounced. Tyler helped me back on to the couch and we began figuring where to go and what to do. The hospital website was confusing, and we didn't even know exactly what we were looking for. We decided to call one of the helplines that my friend from college had given me the day before. We described the situation and they informed us of the type of testing we needed to have done, where to go in the hospital to get it, what ID and paperwork we would need, and they arranged for an advocate to come meet us, just in case we needed help.
We arrived at the hospital emergency room about an hour later, and it was packed, since there had been a snowstorm earlier that morning. The advocate, "Marie" met us in the waiting room. She had brought a second advocate to wait with Ty, in case he had any questions, since we would likely be gone for testing for quite a while. Marie explained to the receptionist that we were there for a drug facilitated rape screening. I was given a mountain of paperwork and asked to take a seat. Marie gave me a pamphlet on drug facilitated rape and I scanned it over. There was a 20 point checklist on the back listing signs that you may have been drugged and raped. I met ever single criterion. "Is there an 8-12 hour period of time missing from your memory?" "Were you given a drink by a member of the opposite sex?" "Is there a 5 minute window of events that are 'foggy' before you blacked out?" "Did you wake up in an unknown location and not know how you got there?" "Are there mysterious bruises on your body that you don't know the cause of?" "Do you feel like you had sex but do not remember the act?" The questions went on like this. For the first time in two days, I found myself actually holding back tears. As I read on, I felt as though someone took notes on what had happened to me, and then published a pamphlet about it. There was also a list of possible drugs, what they do, and how long they stay in your system. Some stay in your system for up to 72 hours, but these were rare. Most were gone in as few as eight hours, but mainly 12-24 hours. It had been close to 30 hours at this point, and I had peed and showered. The odds of something showing up in my bloodstream, even if it was there, was not likely.
Despite that discouraging information, I knew that I needed to take care of my health first. I was already a mess mentally from all of this, so if there was anything I could do to protect myself physically, I knew that I had to go through with it. I was called into a tiny room and interviewed by the nurse who was going to be performing the majority of my exam. Marie was allowed in with me but Ty was not. I gave my statement, and she agreed that it sounded exactly like I was raped and that it was good that I came in. We were sent back to the waiting room with Ty for about 45 more minutes before being called in to take the test.
Marie again was allowed in with me, which was surprisingly comforting. I was in shock a bit and often said okay to whatever the nurse told me, without actually hearing a word she said. Marie stopped each step of the way and told me exactly what was going on before it happened. I was asked if I wanted to file a police report. I said no, that I wanted to have my test run and bloodwork done first, before I made any decisions. Marie explained to me that the police were the only ones that would run a toxicology report to see if there were any drugs in my system. The hospital did not do that. So, if I wanted to know what was in me, I had to file a report first. I was hesitant to do so, because I really wanted the entire thing to be over with, but I needed to know what was done to me, so I agreed. Marie made sure that the state troopers were called, because they took faster action and were able to work more easily between counties. The call was made, and the trooper was set to be there in a few hours.
For those of you who have never gone through a rape screening, it is horrible. I will now detail just some of the terrible things they put you through. You pee in a cup, which is easy enough. But, they need a sample to test for STDs, one to test for any blood or seamen traces, and then one for the cops to test for drugs. It's a lot of pee. They look you over, up and down, and mark on a sheet every single cut bruise or scrape you might have. There is a drawing of a female body that they make all of the marks on. My had little markings all over it. Then they get to the more painful stuff. They take scrapings from underneath all of your nails. I bite my nails, so they are short. This was not too bad but really uncomfortable. They also need hair samples from various parts of your body. I think it was 25 hairs from each spot. These all had to be pulled out from the root, and the nurse needed to use rubber gloves while doing this. I anticipated this hurting more than it did. When it came time to pull out the 25 little pubic hairs, however, that hurt just as much as I thought it would. Then skin cells were scraped from my mouth to run HIV tests. I am running through these all very quickly, but this whole process probably took close to 3 hours, and I was essentially naked on a table the entire time.
Next the state trooper came in. I gave him my story and he informed me that he could take an initial report but that I would need to file an official report and give my statement at the trooper barracks the next town over. He did put my mind at ease a bit by explaining the purpose of filing a report. He made a point to let me know that I was merely making a statement that something happened. It was okay that I didn't know what exactly happened, or who was involved, or the intent. I was just letting the appropriate authority figures know that something fishy went down and that it involved me.
After he left cam the part of this entire experience that was the worst for me. I hate giving blood. I can't listen to people talk about giving blood without turning white. If I see people giving blood I get dizzy and nauseous. I have even been banned from giving blood because I throw up and pass out so much. But I knew that blood giving would be a part of this experience, so at least I was prepared. I was not prepared for how much, though. Eight viles. Not like the little ones that the doctor checks your cholesterol with at physicals. Eight giant fucking test tubes full of my blood. So Marie grabbed my left hand and I made a fist with my right. I laid down and let them take it. I wish I could say it went quickly, but it didn't. It took a really long time and they took it all at once. I didn't black out or throw up, but I did get tunnel vision and breathe really heavy. They gave me a graham cracker and apple juice after which I inhaled, realizing that it was the first food I had had all day and it was nearly 5pm.
Ty came in for a bit after that. It was good to see him, especially since I had been in that tiny room for close to 7 hours. The Dr. who would be giving my internal screening had been held up most of the day and would still be a while longer. Ty and Marie and I sat and talked about our options for going to the barracks. She said that she wanted to come with us because the legal aspects of this stuff could get really confusing. We took her up on this since we were already confused. I offered Ty and Marie my other crackers, realizing that they hadn't eaten in hours either, but they both insisted that I have them. After a while, the Dr. came and Ty left.
Marie had warned me that the Dr. looked a bit like an ape, but I thought she was just trying to raise my spirits. I think I may have actually gasped when he walked in. The man was a monkey. He was very furry and covered in wily, ill maintained black hair. He was nice, but abrupt. It was clear that he wanted to get this over with as quickly as possible.
He asked me to give him the short version of what happened. I did. He asked if I felt like I had been raped anally. I said that I didn't think so, but wasn't sure. He explained that if I wasn't sure then he had to check. This was invasive, but not too bad. It involved a lubed finger and a bunch of Q-tip swabs. Next he had to do the vaginal scan. Marie warned me that most girls find this really painful. The process was similar to getting a pap smear, or so I was told. I had had a bunch of those and they never bugged me too much. The thing I hadn't really thought about was that I had never gotten a pap the day after being violently fucked by two men. Also, in order to see any signs of forced entry, they really need to crank the little alligator-looking clamp thing open pretty wide. I screamed. It felt like I was being ripped open. I imagine this to be the closest sensation to child birth that I will ever experience. Adding to the pain, he poked around (like with his finger) for nearly five minutes before closing the clamp and relieving me of my discomfort.
The only things left to do at this point were the preventative shots for HIV and other STDs. Shots fall just below giving blood on my "things I really hate" list. I think I got a bunch, but the only one I really remember was the HIV one. I had to take some high intensity pills in advance to make sure that my body was receptive to it and then I had to lay on my side while a really thick needle was slipped into my butt cheek. It hurt. It hurt a lot. It hurt to sit on it afterward and the muscle was sore for a couple of days. I was also given round one of maybe 4 different antibiotics and a plan B pill. This was about 12 pills in total, all of which would likely make me nauseous. I was finally allowed to get dressed and leave at this point. I rounded up Ty, and we were off to the trooper barracks.
I won't bore anyone with the details of filling out a police report. I basically had to put in writing everything that I have mentioned in my two previous posts. I did meet an angry older trooper though, who I wish could have stayed with my case. He talked about wanting to hunt down anyone who would take advantage of a girl in this way, and how he was close enough to retiring that this wouldn't be a publicity thing for him, just something that he wanted to see justice carried out on. It made me feel like I didn't sound stupid. Like someone who has seen things like this before also thinks that I was taken advantage of. It also made me feel a little safer, like I was in good hands. They took pictures of my bruises and asked Ty to give a separate statement of what he knew happened. They told me that my case would have to be transferred, along with my blood, to the county in which this happened. I was to be contacted in a day or two by the trooper that would actually be in charge of my case, and that he would take it from there. I felt relieved. I felt like I had done the right thing. I felt slightly less embarrassed. I was hungry.
It was a little after 9pm when we left, and it was snowing hard. We offered to take Marie out to dinner, but she gratefully declined. We thanked her for all that she had done for us, and for giving up her entire day just to help us. She was amazing. I could not have gotten through that day without her. I think Ty feels the same way. So we parted ways and Ty and I headed to the nearest Olive Garden and ate a small mountain of salad and bread sticks. We went to fill my prescriptions (like 20 pills a day for close to a week), and we headed back to my apartment. Ty had notified his work that morning that he would not be in that night. We laid on the couch together and fell asleep almost instantly. This was the longest day of my life.
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